To Begin Again..

Beginning Again

Franz Wright

"If I could stop talking, completely

cease talking for a year, I might begin

to get well," he muttered.

Off alone again performing

brain surgery on himself

in a small badly lit

room with no mirror.

A room whose floor ceiling and walls

are all mirrors, what a mess

oh my God-

And still

it stands,

the question

not how begin

again, but rather

Why?

So we sit there

together

the mountain

and me, Li Po

said, until only the mountain

remains.

When I first read this poem I was so utterly confused. I thought that I understood the beginning until I read the end, but in that confusion I found the beauty of it. Every single part of the poem was a symbol for something- from the structure, vocabulary, tone, and title. Talking to the class and having to "teach" them gave me an idea... that as much as we can dissect the meaning of the poem I feel like it is more of a generality than we may think, the meaning is simple- it is whatever you would like it to be. The "mountain" may be a burden, strength, or another life to some people. What matters? Is that it means something to YOU. That is where the beauty is hidden but not in the structure, vocabulary, or tone rather in the simplicity of it all.

Franz Wright knew that people were meant to take to the poem in which ever they chose to, and I guess that is why I am beginning to understand the importance of poetry. I can say with confidence that I am beginning again with the idea of poetry.

The Kite Runner.

 I'm very sorry for my lack of "creativity" on the title for this post, but The Kite Runner is in itself something so deep that I am at a creativity loss! (and I try to not have that happen often ;)
 The Kite Runner, by Khaled Hosseini is such a beautiful book! Although, it makes you want to break down into river pouring tears at points, many would say that is where the beauty comes from. Hosseini was able to grasp such reality in a book that many have not seen- especially about modern Afghanistan.
 I had read this particular book back when I was a freshman, but it did not have nearly a close enough impact as when I recently read it. I owe that mostly to "annotating".
 Annotating is helpful when it comes to reactions at certain points, and figuring tough situations out in your head. A lot of things can be resolved through a little bit of writing!

 When yoou first meet Hassan, you cannot help but fall in love with his character. It is BECAUSE he is different that he is such a relatable person, what is so unrelatable is something that few people actually possess... Unfailing Love. That unfailing love is where all of his other characteristics come from. He is faithful, courageous, happy, and loyal because of the love he has in his heart.
 Anyone can relate to a time where someone has been hurt that they love, and all they want to do is be there to ultimately help them through the pain. Hassan would rather take on his own pain, then give away a prized possesion he holds to be his dear friend Amirs.
 While reading the book I continuously wrote "for you a thousand times over" on the pages that I felt like I was going to break down into subtle streams of tears. It seemed that everything that happened to Hassan was unfair, but yet through his suffering - Amir is able to learn. Amir states," Hassan was true to his nature; He was incapable of hurting anyone. A few grunts, a couple of pushes, and out came Hassan. Out he came smiling.".

 Amir was envious of all the Hassan had, but isn't that where the true irony lies? In actuality... Hassan did not have much at all. In the little that he had, though, Amir found envy in it. Hassan had the devotion and love of a Father, he had happiness in what he was given, and he meant every single word he said. What Amir didnt like about that was that he also was able to believe those whom he most likely should not.

What is remarkable about this book is it is changing from page to page. Near the end you feel a sense of relief and forgiveness as Amir explains how he is running- again. This time he is running for a purpose and helping a living soul! The character is able to transform through the friendship of a devoted "Shi-a".

 "In the end, I ran."

A look into The Great Gatsby.

 F. Scott Fitzgerald took on the role of becoming one of the most renowned authors in American History. Along with Gertrude Stein, and Ernest Hemingwayf the "Lost Generation" changed literature. In the tale of The Great Gatsby the main character, Nick, was from Minnesota but moved to New York to work in a bond business. He claims in the beginning of the book that the man known as "Gatsby" was a representative of everything that he would not want to be, but that his overwhelming personality was "gorgeous".
 Nick Carraway had the characteristics of someone you would not usually meet during that time period. In the 20's many were trying to "get ahead" and would do anything to do so, that was exactly who gatsby was which makes his character -somewhat- relatable for the time period. Witth Nick; although, he was able to look at the arising situation between Gatsby and a co-workers wife Daisy with the inteligence that the consequences of his actions would be far worse then he could imagine.
 Gatsby was mysterious, and the mysteriousn-ness made him quite irresistable."He had one of those rare smiles with a quality of eternal reassurance in it, that you may come across four or five times in your life.", Nick stated.
 This book a lot like the Heart of Darkness was a very good eye into what exactly it was like to live during that time. Many men in the 20's existed much like Gatsby, they tried to become "great" even if great got you in a mess of trouble. What I love about the book was the end of it, not because I was finished (haha) but because Nick reflects on Gatsbys life in a way so beautiful that it made Gatsbys death not be made in vain. He reflected that Gatsby and his eternal love for Daisy is such that everyone should get to know in their lifetime and that we all need to gaze upon something like the green light and beat hard so that we may stretch our arms out... even further then Gatsby stretched his.

"Gatsby believed in the green light, the orgiastic future that year by year recedes before us. It eluded us then, but that's no matter--tomorrow we will run faster, stretch out our arms farther... And one fine morning--So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past."

Welcome to the Heart of Darkness.

 At first, to be honest, the idea of "blogging" my thoughts about the book seemed quite strange. Now as I have FINALLY begun to type out of my ideas I do believe that this will be an interesting experience!

 The Heart of Darkness, by Joseph Conrad seemed to have a double effect on me. During the middle of the beginning of the passage I was very confused at what exactly was happening. As time went on and I was able to get further in the book I began to realize who Marlow REALLY was. Through the vivid imagery, such as; "along a blue sea whose glitter was blurred by a creeping mist" and intense detail- slowly, I became emersed in what Marlow was seeing as he swept through the rivers of Africa.
 He spoke mostly about the culture, or as I should say- the people who lived along the congo. He would speak in such detail as to what they were doing as if it was a foreign nature he had never seen before.
"They walked erect and slow, balancing small baskets full of earth on their heads, and the clink kept time with their footsteps. Black rags wound were around their loins, and the short ends behind waggled to and fro like tails. I could see every rib."
 The excessive detail was a huge factor in that it was obvious that Joseph Conrad did more than just see into what he thought "could be" how it would look to gaze upon strangers in a distant land- but that he actually WENT through it.
 What I loved about the book would have to be that it differentiates in a multitude of ways from other literature. In the Heart of  Darkness- Conrad adds imagery and detail but not anything that could be unrealistic. The book seemed quite dry at points, but Conrads point was to set out a point and use his own experience to shape a story. With Conrad it is a clear that he knows what he is talking about, he is not trying to entertain with knowledge he has never truly seen for himself. He is grasping the idea of literature in it's most simple and wonderful form.
 What I disliked about the book was the "dryness" quality. Although it had beautiful imagery, and explicit details it still seemed to become- in all likeness and purpose- boring.
It lacked the enthusiasm many seem to see in a good amount of books. It seemed to not have a distinct part of where the book was supposed to climaz either, it had a good way of pointing where it was going throughout the story but I never felt like it had the climatic factor in it.
 The Heart of Darkness taught me how to read in detail, and how to read a very old style of writing. It gave me a good look into what exactly imperialism looked like, and how people were highly misunderstood. Overall? I am surprised to say I was happy that I read it!